Date Yourself Without Feeling RidiculousWritten by Tigre Haller
Whether you're single or involved with someone(s), there’s a lot to be said about dating yourself. Literally dating yourself. Not a clone, or another “you.”
Embrace being "self-partnered."
But, it’s not so easy, is it? Especially when societal norms dictate that we must all be paired-up all the time. Or perpetually single. Forget that!
Those notions are so outdated and ridiculous. Sometimes, being on your own is exactly what you need.
So many single people are looking for “love.” So many coupled people are looking for “a way out.” Or at least a pause.
Then there are those people who truly enjoy so-called “singlehood.”
It might sound selfish or narcissistic, but in reality, it isn’t. Getting to know yourself on a deeper, and yes, intimate level is essential. Not only will your self-dates foster your self-knowledge, self-care and self-love, they will also enhance the way you interact with the world around you.
Read on to discover fun, and not so ridiculous, ways to date yourself without shame or guilt.
Plan your first date with care.
Sure, it’s easy to get some junk food and spend the night in front of the TV or your computer, but is that really your idea of a date? Especially the first one?
Think of something fun, exciting, different…
While you’re getting ready, put on your favorite music to get into the groove. And don’t start the party too early. You want to enjoy the experience, not show-up for yourself half-crocked.
Don’t just throw on some old jeans or sweats either. Take time to shower, groom and dress.
Here’s the perfect chance for you to get dressed-up. That’s right - for yourself. You might take this opportunity to get something new. Why not? You want to look your best, don’t you?
It’s all about showing yourself a good time, and getting to know yourself better. That said, if you’re a more casual guy, go for it. Just try to leave the dirty laundry at home.
Taking a bit of extra time to really enjoy the experience of getting ready can help set the mood for a truly enjoyable time.
Here are 3 dates you can take yourself on right away...
1. A Romantic Meal
Never has “table for one” sounded so romantic.
You can either prepare a delicious meal at home, order in or go to a restaurant.
Cooking for yourself comes with some challenges and a lot of joy. It doesn’t need to be anything extravagant (but why not go for the gusto?).
There’s no rush. Let yourself enjoy the process. Put on some music, pour a glass of wine or juice, and get into cutting the veggies, stirring the sauce, toasting the bread…
Prepare something easy and flavorful, like one of these:
Pasta with primavera sauce. A savory stir fry. A hamburger (meat or veggie) with all the trimmings. Or, a festive salad.
Observe how you hold the knife, handle the spoon and spatula. Ask yourself why you decided to make that particular dish.
(I’ll give you a quick, easy and elegant “Bonus Recipe” at the bottom of this article.)
If you’re not up for cooking, order in. No, not the “usual.” Try something new. Push your boundaries.
Set your place with shiny cutlery, a nice glass and your best plates. Remember, this is about treating yourself with love and respect (something many guys have trouble doing).
If you prefer to go out, you get to choose whatever restaurant you want. That’s one of the benefits of self-dating, you don’t have to consider someone else’s opinion.
As you enjoy your meal, ask yourself how you like it. Talk to yourself about what is important to you at that moment, your interests, your likes and dislikes, your hopes and dreams. Be kind, open and compassionate.
This is the ultimate “me” time. Don’t take it for granted.
2. Treat Yourself to a Concert, Play or Movie
Buying a ticket for one can be daunting, just like dining by yourself. It doesn’t have to be though. Actually, it can be a lot of fun and freeing. How many times have you missed out on something because your partner wasn’t interested, or you couldn’t find a friend to go with?
Free yourself from those constraints and immerse yourself in the experience.
If you’re not interested in seeing a performance, consider engaging in an activity that is typically seen as “couples only.” For example, take a dance class or go to a wine tasting. There are so many possibilities.
3. Go For a Long Walk
Enjoy the tranquility of a beach or lakeside, the wonder of a verdant forest, the excitement of a lively park. The rhythm of nature really help to quiet your thoughts and clear your head. And, gives you another chance to get to know yourself better.
When walking don’t just trudge along like a drone, really observe and immerse yourself in the surroundings. Doing so will not only put you in touch with the landscape, it will also help you to go deeper inside of yourself, and connect you to your own rhythm.
Why not pack yourself a nice picnic to enjoy along the way?
For more extensive exploration, consider taking yourself on a trip. It doesn’t have to be to some far-flung, exotic locale. How about booking a night or two at a cozy country inn? Or taking a room at a cool city hotel? Or camping in the wild?
The point is to have time away by yourself, for yourself. At this moment no one else matters.
Slip under the covers, get comfortable and enjoy having the bed to yourself. Roll around, take it over, spread out, sleep in a corner, in the middle, at the head or the bottom.
What you do when the lights are out is entirely up to you…
Reflecting on a new relationship, heck, any relationship, is extremely important.
Start a new journal and try to answer some fundamental questions:
What new things am I discovering about myself?
What old things have come to the surface?
Do I enjoy my own company?
Am I comfortable in my own skin?
What can I do to enhance my relationship with myself?
Can I see this developing into something long-term?
What’s the next date?
Sure, some of these questions might sound a bit silly - even embarrassing - at first. But, they won’t once you start answering them.
At the end of the day you have to live with yourself 24/7 (news alert!), and only you can make the most of your relationship with yourself.
Speak kindly, with compassion, openness and always be honest. Really listen, make changes when needed, and don’t worry about what others might think.
This is your time to develop one of the most fulfilling, and the most important, relationship you will ever have!
En Papillote sounds fancy doesn’t it? Well, it is, but it isn’t. Not really. All it involves is preparing some veggies, a protein, herbs, spices, maybe a squeeze of lemon and a dash of wine on a sheet of aluminum foil.
Wrap the ingredients up like a tent, place on a baking sheet or a shallow, ovenproof pan, slide it into a 250 - 300 degree oven for about 15 minutes (depending on the doneness needed) and remove.